


Unlimited Love

by Guapa09



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Army, College, Doctor Clarke, Drunk Lexa, F/F, F/M, Heavy Angst, Sad Lexa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2018-11-23 02:13:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11393244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Guapa09/pseuds/Guapa09
Summary: At the age of 18 they were high school sweethearts; everyone knew they were made for each other, there was no doubt about it, it was simple as that.They were the perfect couple, Clarke and Lexa forever…What a sad thing to know that destiny and its weird ways of “forever” is not ever like that, right?





	1. The Promise

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> This is my very first fic, so please!! be easy on me...
> 
> I really hope you like it! and the idea that I have for this one it has a pretty good twist so with that being said...buckled up and enjoy!!
> 
> Oh! and one more thing: english is not my first language so be easy on me again :) 
> 
> ** To those who speak spanish the fic will be posted in spanish too ;)
> 
>  
> 
> Any idea about this story is very much welcome!!

**The promise**

At the age of 18 they were high school sweethearts; everyone knew they were made for each other, there was no doubt about it, it was simple as that. They were the perfect couple, Clarke and Lexa forever… What a sad thing to know that destiny and its weird way of “forever” is not ever like that, right?

They grew up together and basically shared the same friends, starting with Raven and her massive love for technology, if you had any doubt about how to fix something the brunette was the one with the solution. Then it was Octavia, the smaller of the group and also the one who protected Clarke and Lexa whenever someone bothered them; because the thing is that they could be the perfect couple, but also there’s always the homophobic asshole trying to get some attention; and there it was Octavia protecting the girls and the group of friends.

Then it was Monty, one of the shiest boys in school and also one of the smartest kids too, on his very first day of class some kids were already bothering him, of course Octavia stepped in and saved him from an almost very likely beating; and from that moment on they became friends and later came the rest of the group. Monty was a tech genius too and at the beginning he always competed against Raven, but fortunately they soon found out that together they could achieve more things than on their own; so since that magnificent realization they started to work together, and god! They were good! although sometimes the consequences of their experiments ended affecting the group of friends, but nothing that bad (yeah, right)

Finally, there was Bellamy, Octavia’s older brother, he was on his last year of high school (same as Clarke, Lexa, Raven and Monty); truth be told Bellamy was quite good with numbers and math, he always helped Clarke whenever the blonde couldn’t understand something, he was always there for everybody, but specially for Clarke, because the truth was that even if he tried he couldn’t stop thinking about her, he couldn’t help his feelings for the beautiful girl. Sadly, for Bellamy, he knew that his chances with Clarke were none, cero, nothing, no hope, no little light, nada.

He knew that the blonde was in love with Lexa, but the heart wants what it wants and he just couldn’t help it.

The only thing he could do was watch her from afar, help her whenever she needed his help and try to be a good friend, he would have to bury his love deep inside his soul, because Clarke was forbidden. With time, he got used to see the happiness that the blonde radiated and her happiness became his own happiness.

***

Lexa fell in love with Clarke from the very first time she saw her, she was only 8 years old when she knew; since those horrible kids were trying to take away her food in the middle of the playground, she knew, when she ran to defend her without even met her before and making them go away, she knew that Clarke Griffin was going to be the love of her life.

Lexa had an innate talent for sports, she was good in almost all of them, if she wanted, she could have applied for a scholarship to study anywhere, but the truth was that she didn’t want to be a soccer star, she wanted to be something completely different.

Her sense of protection for her loved ones and her country were stronger than anything else, her desire to help others took her to think since she was just a little girl that she wanted to join the army and serve her country.

The day Lexa made the decision to join the army (this time there was no turning back and no doubts), was a day that the brunette would never forget.

Clarke was laying on her bed with her head on her chest, it was a beautiful day in spring, the flowers were starting to bloom, the tree leaves were slowly coming back to its longing green, everything seemed to grow back again.

Without thinking much about it, Clarke started the conversation,

\- In a few months, we finally will be out of high school, of this place, are you excited about it? - She said looking at Lexa, the brunette looked down at her and nodded once, giving her a little smile, then the blonde continued - you know? I think that my unreasonable hate against medicine it was only because I didn’t want to be like mom, because, really, who wants to be just like her mother when you’re 13 years old? But the truth is that I can’t imagine myself doing anything else…I want to be a doctor! - the blonde sighed with excitement and continued – I don’t want to push you but, babe, you are so good at sports that you could easily apply to any University and get in – now the blonde was hugging her – it would be awesome if we, you know, live together and everything – now Clarke was mumbling – if you don’t want to I can always figure something out and go see you even if you decide to go to the other side of the country – Lexa loved her for these things, mumbling when she was nervous, hugging her when she didn’t want to impose, looking at everything but her when she thought she was crossing a line, she loved her for who she was, and this one here was the bare Clarke she was crazy about.

In this, their last year of high school every conversation it had to do with applications, scholarships, universities, basically the future, but everybody was so busy with their own things, figuring out their own lives that no one noticed that Lexa didn’t talk about hers, no one asked her what she wanted, because everybody thought that she was going to pick one of the many scholarships that universities were offering her and that was it, her future was fixed; even Clarke was too busy worrying about her own future and how to get into a good university that she never asked, she just assumed Lexa would be with her no matter what, no matter if she was on the other side of the country or near her, Lexa was going to be with her, there was not a single doubt about it.

On the other hand, Lexa knew it was going to be difficult to talk to Clarke about this, but she had to.

Lexa gave her one last kiss on her forehead and stood up, she walked to the nearest window and sat down there; the blonde immediately knew that something wasn’t right. She could read her like the palm of her hand, those green eyes could never hide anything from her.

\- What’s wrong Lex? Did I say something wrong? ...you know you can always talk to me, right? – the blonde started trying to fix the situation – it was too soon telling her that I want to live with her on campus? we have been together for almost 2 years it shouldn’t be bothering her, she loves me, I love her, or maybe – her thoughts were abruptly interrupt with a sentence that she never expected to hear from her lover.

\- Clarke…I’m not going to uni – she said looking down to her feet.

For a moment Clarke thought that she wasn’t hearing her properly.

\- What? – she repeated.

\- What you heard, I’m not going to Uni…I’m joining the army. - The brunette tried to sound as secure as possible, because if the blonde saw a hint of insecurity in her eyes or in her voice she might think that she wasn’t sure at all and would try to change her mind, she wouldn’t let that happen, her decision was already taken, if there was any doubt at all it was Clarke, that woman was the only one who could make her stay, she was the only one who could make her jump from a cliff if she asked her.

Clarke knew that Lexa was quite fond of the idea of protecting people and basically very fond of the idea of being part of the army, but she just associated that thought with her own idea of singing, she loved to sing but that didn’t mean that she would leave everything else, moving to L.A. and start a career as a singer, she sure enjoyed doing it, even more when she had the chance and sang one of her songs to Lexa, but she knew that her future was to be a doctor.

\- Are you kidding me? I know you like the army and all that, but I never thought that you actually wanted to JOIN THE ARMY. – She said in disbelief.

\- Clarke – started the brunette trying to calm her down this is what I want to do, this is what fulfill me - she said convinced.

\- Explain how the hell you didn’t tell me before! – said Clarke raising her voice, angry – how is it that you waited until this fucking moment to tell me that you want to join the fucking army?!

Clarke could sense what it might happen if Lexa decided to join the army, she knew that they would send her to Afghanistan or someplace like that, she read the papers, she watched the news, she wasn’t stupid.

\- Hey – started Lexa trying to ease the situation – please calm down, I tried to tell you so many times, but I was afraid because I knew how you would react, I’m just asking you to support me…this is what I want – Lexa begged her trying to convince her.

\- And me? What about me Lexa? – the brunette could sense the venom behind her words – am I just the high school girlfriend? I thought we had a future together, but I was…

Before the blonde could end the sentence, Lexa interrupted her, she stood up from the window and sat next to her, cleaning her tears that were starting to fall from her eyes; if there was one thing that Lexa hated with all her heart was seeing Clarke crying.

\- Love, we still have a future together, I won’t leave you, we can make this work, I love you more than anything in the world, not even a million miles could make me stop loving you; plus, I can always come back home, I won’t leave forever, please, you have to believe me – Lexa said trying to make her see that she was telling her the truth, that at the end of the day Clarke was the most important thing for her.

In that moment the blonde almost saw her life passing right in front of her eyes, because the truth was that if she make her choose between the army or staying with her, she knew that Lexa would pick her, she knew it, but she also knew that if she did it, not only she would be selfish but she would be putting an end to their relationship, because Lexa would stay with her and maybe would go to a good university, but at the end of the day she wouldn’t be happy, with time frustrations would come and finally the brunette would end up blaming her for her shitty life, if not her herself and that would be it for them.

Clarke loved her, she loved her with all her soul and one of the things that she wanted was her happiness, and if joining the army was her happiness then she wouldn’t stop her; she would support her just like the brunette did when Clarke told her that she wanted to be a doctor.

After a couple of minutes Clarke looked at her and gave her a little smile, then she took one last breath and said,

\- Almost 2 years ago you asked me to be your girlfriend…and I think that a lot of people thought that we wouldn’t last a month, including my mother, we are in high school, our feelings change, we are young; or at least that’s what old people say, that nothing last forever, let alone a “high school love”, but let me tell you that I loved you since the very first time I saw you…our love is different, the truth is that I have loved you my whole life! – said Clarke trying not to cry – I just want to tell you that your happiness is my happiness and if you want to go to the other side of the world to do what you love then I’m with you every step of the way, I love you Lexa…I love you and I will always support you.

Now the brunette was the one crying, Clarke always told her that she loved her, but until that day she never really knew how much and everything she meant for her. The blonde literally opened her heart and showed it to Lexa; she showed her that her love was so strong and so big that if it meant to let her go then she would do it. Lexa was speechless, overwhelmed by the love of Clarke.

She couldn’t contain her tears; she couldn’t believe how lucky she was to have found the woman of her dreams at such a young age. But here she was, sitting beside her.

\- I…I don’t know – started Lexa trying to calm her emotions – I don’t know what I did to find someone like you and I have no idea what I did to deserve you, because I’m almost sure I’m not – she said between sobs and laughs everything at the same time, her emotions were flowing strong – you just have to know one thing, I’m doing this for you too…because I want MY WOMAN – with the last words Clarke’s heart jumped, it sounded so good to be her woman in the lips of her lover that she almost choke on her own saliva – to live in a safe country, in a safe world and if I can be responsible for that safety then I’ll do it a thousand times if I have to – after a moment Lexa closed the distance between them and kissed her tenderly on the lips, showing her that she meant every word she said.

After a few minutes, she whispered in her ear – You and me forever love, I promise.

\- You really promise?

\- I really promise Clarke.

And from that very moment the lives of the girls were never the same.


	2. First Warning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! 
> 
> Thank you for the kudos and sorry for the late update but like I said before english is not my first language...so...be patience please...
> 
> Enjoy the new chapter guys!! 
> 
> Any mistakes are all mine...

Lexa’s family already knew about her decision to join the army, even though her adoptive mother, Indra, wasn’t a big fan of the idea, it was her daughter’s decision and she would respect it; as for her older sister Anya, she knew her so well that she wasn’t surprised at all by the news, she herself was part of the army and knew from first-hand experience how it was going to be for her sister, because it was clear that she was going to be sent abroad whether she like it or not.

At the moment Anya was in Pakistan guarding the border between Afghanistan and the rest of the countries in conflict, her position wasn’t at a high risk, at least for now, so whenever she had the chance of being in safer locations she would call her family everyday if the signal worked, like now.

The sound of the phone resonated across the house startling Lexa in the process cursing the damn device as she went downstairs for almost giving her a heart attack, but all her cursing went right to the trash can when she heard the voice on the other side of the line.

 - Good afternoon Commander, how is everything going over there?

 Lexa could recognize that voice from miles away, she was waiting to hear that voice for so long that she almost choked on her own words.

She had earned the “Commander” nickname after a difficult match 3 years ago when her team was losing indisputably 3 – 0 on their own soccer stadium, seeing how their hopes were slowly starting to disappear and the fans were starting to leave the bleachers one at a time, Lexa decided that she wasn't going to loose without giving at least a good fight and in an almost heroic comeback she scored the three goals that her team needed to tight the match and keep them on top of the table, the last one of them on the final minute after a great corner kick from one of her teammates, heading the ball with all her strength sending it straight to the net and cutting her left eyebrow after she collided with one of the defenses.

That day Lexa not only saved her team from a certain defeat but also ended as a hero to the entire school and earning the “Commander” nickname in the process; with a certain blonde on the bleachers trying to calm the rapid beating of her heart whenever the brunette was around her.  

\- Anya?... Oh, my god! HOW ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU? – Lexa answered the phone in total disbelief at hearing her sister’s voice. The last contact she had with her sister was 2 months ago when she received the answer to her letter in which she informed her that she was joining the army too once she was done with high school and pass all the exams and all the bureaucracy things to finally be part of the US Army.

Anya couldn’t help but laugh at her sister’s reaction.

 - Ok! ok! first of all I’m good and safe and second of all, I can’t tell you where I am, you know that…but just know that I’m safer enough to make a quick phone call.

 - Shit! Yeah, yeah I know…it’s just…I’ve missed you sis! – said Lexa trying to calm herself down.

 - I know Lex…I miss you too, but apparently, we will see each other soon…by the way, tell me something, how did Clarke take the whole thing of you joining the army?

Anya had met Clarke last year when she came home to visit her family before returning to a new mission. It took her just a few minutes and looking at her sister’s face to see that the blonde had her wrapped around her finger.  

She also could see the loving smile the blonde had whenever Lexa said something or just looked at her, their love was palpable, that was the best word she could find to describe them: palpable and gross because for her it was too much love in one single couple.

 - At first like I suspected…bad, but she’s the best and finally understood and now she’s with me in all of this, I mean, I know she’s not the happiest girlfriend in the world but she basically told me that no matter where I am or what I do, she will always be with me, so yeah…she’s the best thing that happened to me – answered Lexa suddenly moved by all the kindness and love that Clarke gave her day after day.

 Anya could sense the love in her sister’s voice.

\- You are gross! there’s too much love for me little sis, I gotta tell you that – said Anya laughing.

\- Yeah, yeah it’s because you haven’t falling in love yet, once you do you’ll understand, trust me.

\- Hey! I’m the older one, I’m the one who should be giving you advices and all that shit, not the other way around – Anya answered laughing, clearly joking around.

\- Whatever sis…take care of yourself ok? At least until I get there to protect your ass – now it was Lexa who was the one joking around, she knew that her sister was more than capable of taking care of herself, but deep down she wanted to be there to do just that.

\- Ha ha! Ok…now can you please pass the phone to mom so I can actually prove to her that I’m alive, I swear to god she worries too much sometimes.

\- No prob. Sis…love u and see you soon – a moment - MOM! ANYA IS ON THE PHONE SHE WANTS TO SAY HI, HURRY!

\- FUCK LEXA! MY EAR!

* * *

 

It was the last training session before the last game of the season and of course Clarke was there on the bleachers along with all the gang supporting Lexa.

The brunette was practicing her shooting drills as usual, trying to score from a distance, everything was going fine when suddenly her vision started to blur, she tried to blink several times but it only got worse, she kneeled down trying to calm her breathing closing her eyes in the process.

The rest of the team didn’t notice her, they kept doing what they’re doing, but Clarke did notice her, how could she not?

The blonde immediately stood up from the bench trying to get a better view of Lexa, who was still on her knees, worrying more and more.

\- Hey Monty, do you see Lexa from here? she doesn’t seem well, something’s wrong with her – she said to her friend who wasn’t paying any attention to the field, in fact he was reading a book about some new technology, but what counted was that he was there supporting Lexa.

At that Monty left the book on his side and stood up too scanning the field trying to find Lexa, once he did the brunette was already getting on her feet and then walking to the side of the field to sit on the floor close to the benches.

\- I don’t know Clarke, go ask her, do you want to bring her some water? I’ve got my bottle right here – said Monty passing the bottle to Clarke with a concern look on his face.

\- Thanks, I’ll do that.

And with that Clarke came down the few steps as fast as she could and kneeled down in front of the brunette with a worrying look on her face.

\- Hey babe, what’s wrong? How do you feel? – she said trying to lift her chin and have a better look of her girlfriend.

In that moment Lexa started looking up until she fixed her eyes on those amazing blue ones, giving her a weak smile.

\- I don’t know I was kicking the ball like I always do and suddenly I started to get dizzy…I just, I couldn’t …I couldn’t see the ball – she finally said still trying to adjust her vision.

Clarke opened the bottle of water and handed it to Lexa, gently caressing her cheek.  

\- Drink a bit babe, by the way did you eat before practice?

Lexa looked at her trying to remember while she drank the water.

\- I didn’t love, that must be it…silly me, I’m not forgetting it next time, promise. Said Lexa trying to get on her feet and come back to practice, but before she could take a step on the soccer field, Clarke took her by the arm shaking her head, dead serious.

\- You are NOT going back there; YOU are going to eat something NOW – she said sitting Lexa on the side.

\- But…the coach

Before Lexa could finish the sentence, Clarke interrupted her.

\- I’ll speak to the coach; you stay right here.

\- Yes, ma’am – was the only thing Lexa dared to say.

And that was the end of the discussion, Lexa knew that it was better to stay quiet and do what her authoritarian and sexy girlfriend said or she would have to face the not so lovely Clarke Griffin.

 

However, Lexa had been to training many times before without having lunch, and she never felt sick… _what was happening to her?_

That question never crossed her mind, at least not after the events that started to occur during the following months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think?...
> 
> Any ideas about what is happening to Lexa? 
> 
> BTW I will create a tumblr account soon so...I'll let you know once I have it and you can ask me anything u want!
> 
> Thank you again! 
> 
> Para los que hablan español: esta historia también la subiré en español...ahi no habrá problemas de idioma! lo juro! 
> 
> Besos y más besos!!


	3. A truth revealed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suddenly the mood had changed, there were no reassuring smiles and no chit chats, only an unpleasant silence which covered the whole place. 
> 
> “I must really have fucked it up this time” she thought while she sat on the chair opposite to Echo’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys!!
> 
> I'm so sorry for the late late update, but as I said before...english is not my first language and it takes me a little bit more time to get a chapter done...
> 
> Hopefully you'll like it!!
> 
> And this is where the real fun starts! 
> 
> (Don't hate me...too much)
> 
> P.S. I thought that a good song for this chapter would be: 
> 
> Oceans away by Arizona

The last match of the season was tough, Lexa’s team won 1-0 with a goal from no other than the commander. Clarke and the gang were right there on the bleachers supporting Lexa.

After the match Lexa went to the dressing room with the other players. After she took a quick shower and while she was fixing her hair she felt that something cold started to run from her nose. She was bleeding.

She laughed at herself thinking _“Whoa, I need some serious rest after this match”_ and dismissed that thought right away.

Only a little red stain on her white shirt was all that remained after “her little incident”, or that was she said to herself once she could manage to stop the bleeding.

Later that night the entire team as well as their friends (including _the gang_ ) were all celebrating at a bar near the stadium. Clarke was wrapped in Lexa’s arms with her head on the brunette’s chest drinking a beer, while Lexa was chatting with Octavia about her decision to join the army and follow her sister’s steps.

When something got Clarke’s attention,

“Hey babe, what’s this? I think you stained your shirt, let me see if I can…” said Clarke trying to clean Lexa’s shirt.

The brunette looked down at herself and said without paying too much attention,

“Oh, it’s nothing…I had a nosebleed a little while ago”

“A nosebleed? really? has it happened before?” Clarke said sitting up straight, giving her a concern look.

Lexa looked at her a little bit surprised by her sudden mood change.

“Mmmh…let me think…no, not that I remember” she said trying to give her a kiss, but the blonde didn’t let her. 

“You should see a doctor Lexa, this isn’t normal”

She wanted to be a doctor, a nosebleed out of nowhere? That couldn’t be right.

Lexa could sense that Clarke was thinking too much into it, she hated when the blonde worried too much about her. She was the one supposed to be protecting her, not the other way around.

“Hey babe…relax ok? nothing’s wrong with me, I’m not going to the doctor for a stupid nosebleed – she said resolutely.

Before Clarke could argue about what she just said and after giving her one of her killing smiles, she whispered in her ear - “I’m strong, I feel fine, I love you, you love me, what more could I ask for? Am I right or am I right?”, said Lexa giving her a quick kiss and wrapping her arms around Clarke.

And just like that Lexa made her forget about it, like she always did whenever they had a fight or Clarke was having a bad day.

One kiss was all it took to make her forget about everything.

Would that always be enough to make things better between the two of them?

 

***

_ 6 months later  _

That big white room only meant one thing: today was the day of the medical tests that the army requested to all the postulants.

There she was sitting on a stretcher, bouncing her feet uncontrollably waiting for the nurse to take her blood samples.

The truth was that she hated needles and hospitals in general, even if this one was inside of a military facility. She just wanted to get over it and come back to Clarke as soon as possible.

Lexa felt like an hourglass was counting off her days, hours and minutes and all she wanted was to be in Clarke’s arms.

_(“I’m so whipped”, she thought smiling)_

Right in between her thoughts the nurse came into the room and Lexa tensed up almost immediately.

The nurse gave her a sweet smile and said,

“There’s nothing to worry about…Alexandria” – the woman said looking at the information she had on her hand. Lexa figured she read her name on the IPad she was holding. 

“Lexa”, said the brunette immediately.

“What?”, the nurse said confused, looking once again at the IPad on her hand, checking if she had the right information.

“You can call me Lexa, I hate Alexandria, my mother calls me like that whenever I’m in trouble…and I definitely don’t want to get in troubles here, right?”, she said trying to relax herself and ease the mood that settled every time she set foot on a hospital ward.

The nurse might have find her kind of sweet because she gave her a little smile before she started to get ready to take her blood tests.

“I see…Lexa, I’m Echo, by the way, - she said offering her hand – “and don’t worry about it, it’s ok if you’re afraid of needles, you know? That doesn’t make you weak”.

“How did you know I was afraid of…?”, the brunette said surprised. 

“Trust me I’ve been here long enough to notice these kinds of things” – she paused, “and don’t worry, your secret is safe with me”, she said winking at Lexa.

“How old are you?”, said Lexa looking at her, intrigued, forgetting about her arm and the blood test.  

“Hey! nice question there champ!, you must be very lucky with the ladies if you ask them these kinds of things”, she said ironically and then continued, “but since I’m way out of your league and you basically could be my daughter if I had had sex the very first time I got my period then I guess I could tell you, I’m 30 years old”, she said laughing one more time.

Lexa looked at her confused and then she got it.

“Oh no! I’m sorry! nothing like that…I could never” – she couldn’t even think about cheating on Clarke, that was out of the question – “I have a girlfriend and I love her, like REALLY love her – she tried to explain – “I’m just curious because you don’t seem that old to, you know, have that kind of experience, if you get what I mean”.

“Well…let me put it this way, I’m quite smart and hard worker and I love what I do. In a world ruled by men, specially here, you have to be the best to get a chance to get in this place – she paused again looking directly at Lexa – “or get a million dollar to go somewhere else and do something similar”

The both of them erupted with laughter.

“God…my sister would love you Echo”, Lexa said shaking her head.

“And done! You can come back to the waiting room and we’ll call you when your results are ready”, said Echo taking her rubber gloves off and throwing them in the trash can.

Lexa looked at her in disbelief and then at her arm, she had a little pink band aid on her arm and she didn’t even notice.  

“How did you…I didn’t even notice…I…What are you?!” she said almost shocked.

Echo looked at her and erupted with laughter once again.

“See you in a bit kid”

 

***

One hour had passed and she was still waiting for her results. When the last postulant left she could feel that something wasn’t right. Now she was all alone in the waiting room.

She got up from the chair and started pacing, putting her hands inside her pockets.

_“Have they forgotten about me?” she thought biting the inside of her cheek._

That was her last thought before Echo called her name.

She immediately looked up and followed her.

Suddenly the mood had changed, there were no reassuring smiles and no chit chats, only an unpleasant silence which covered the whole place.

 _“I must really have fucked it up this time”_ she thought while she sat on the chair opposite to Echo’s.

Echo’s face was unreadable, her seriousness filled the room. Lexa was on the verge of getting up and leave, clearly something was off and if she wasn’t going to make it then she wanted to leave right at that moment.

“Lexa…I have your test results and unfortunately something’s wrong” said Echo.

The brunette furrowed her brow,

“What do you mean something’s wrong?” she said in a quivering voice.

“I checked your results twice, I even rerun the tests, but I’m very sorry to tell you that…” Echo said looking at the paper in her hand, taking a deep breath.

It was never easy giving these kind of news, let alone to an 18 years old girl.

Lexa contained her breath, just staring at her clenching her jaw.

“You have leukemia”

And just like that everything turned black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Echo's not that bad right?
> 
> We'll see a lot more of her in the next chapters...
> 
> There you go!
> 
> Mistakes are all mine and I would love to see what do you think about this story so far!!
> 
> Besos!
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	4. 3 words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! 
> 
> First of all, thank you so much for your kind comments and thank you for your patience!! 
> 
> Here is the new chapter! 
> 
> Enjoy!

Her heart stopped, her breath was caught in her throat, she couldn’t articulate one word, her whole world froze.

Lexa could have expected anything, but not this.

One memory came to her mind from that night at the bar: _“I’m strong, I feel fine, I love you, you love me, what more could I ask for? Am I right or am I right?” …Clarke, she should have listened to her, she should have…_

A hand on her shoulder took her out of her thoughts. She slowly looked up and there it was Echo looking at her with a sympathizing smile trying to support her, somehow.

That hand on her shoulder made her realize that what she really needed was another person’s hand, a woman who was miles away from her, the only person, apart from Clarke, who she trusted with her entire soul. Suddenly she felt like a 5-year-old girl all over again, scared and lonely…she needed her sister and she needed her now.

After a few seconds of more silence, Lexa took a deep breath and said, not even looking at Echo this time,

“I want my sister” 

Echo had no idea who her sister was, so she caught her off guard,

“I…I don’t know who your sister is, do you have her number so I can call her and tell her to come and pick you up? is that ok for you?”

Lexa looked at her confused and tried again,

“My sister is Anya Woods and she is in the army…right now she’s on a mission, probably somewhere near Iraq, I don’t really know…she won’t tell us where she is, she never does…I need you to help me find her…- her heart was beating fast - we are in a military facility, I know that someone here might be able to contact her…

Lexa lifted her gaze and said the last words almost as a prayer: “please help me, find her”

Then she leaned against the table and covered her eyes with her shaking hands.

Echo nodded, finally understanding what she meant. Seeing Lexa devastated and hopeless made her think about her own life and how she gave everything up for this job.

She realized that she was so invested in her ambition to be the best, to prove to everybody that she was good enough to be where she was, that she forgot about one thing, probably the most important one: herself.

_I’ll take a vacation soon, she thought._

After a few seconds, she squeezed Lexa’s shoulder lightly and said,

“I’ll go speak with my Superior, we’ll contact her for you, wait her, please”.

Lexa whispered a fragile _“thank you”,_ before Echo left the room.

***

_“General Jones, Anya Woods reporting from Base 3497, Actual Location: Iran, Mission: on the run, what can I do for you, General?”_

Then, there was silence, an interference, and again, more silence.

_“Sr. Can you hear me?” Anya said once again._

_“It’s Lexa”, said the brunette almost in a whisper._

_“Lexa?” Answered Anya in disbelief, and then added, “what are you…how did you contact me? I…Lexa what are you doing calling me from THAT encrypted line?” said Anya confused, shocked and almost panicking._

If the situation were different, Lexa would have laughed and pissed Anya off for years, for panicking like that.

The brunette almost laughed picturing the situation in her head, but then remembered why she was calling her sister, and her half smile vanished as fast as it came.

Finally, she took a deep breath and said,

“I only have almost 3 minutes to tell you why I’m calling you…so listen very carefully ok sis, can you do that for me?”

_“Lexa, I’m confused as fuck…I don’t fucking know what’s going on and you are scaring the shit….”_

She had to do it now or the 3 minutes that she had wouldn’t be enough to shut Anya up.

“I have leukemia”

And there it was, the bitter taste of that 3 words coming from her mouth.

Would it start to taste better someday? Would it come that day after all?

The abrupt silence on the other side of the line said it all.

She waited a few more seconds, while holding the phone with all her might.

She just wanted to listen to her voice, she just wanted to hear her sister, she needed to know that she was not alone.  

When she was about to speak again, Lexa heard her sigh.

What the older woman said on the other end of the line, almost gave her a mini heart attack. 

“I’m coming back to the U.S., I’m leaving now. Go home and don’t tell anyone about this, at least, not until I get there. I love you Lexa, I’ll see you very soon little sis”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...no Clarke, but...what do you think?...what will Clarke say about all of this?...
> 
> Next chapter: Clarke and a few more interesting characters...
> 
> Hopefully the next update it will be faster than this one!


	5. The truth behind the lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suddenly all of her dreams had just died right before her eyes and the worst part of all is that she couldn’t do anything to change it. 
> 
> She felt like her own body was betraying her...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys!!
> 
> Thank you for all the kudos and sweet messages!!
> 
> Hopefully you'll like this chapter. 
> 
> All the mistakes are mine
> 
> Good reading!!! 
> 
> Enjoy

Lexa left the building shortly after speaking with Anya, with the feeling of the heaviest weight on her shoulders.

Echo had tried to tell her a little bit more about her “new discover condition” as the older woman referred to it, but she politely refused to listen. _“It’s too much for one day”_ she thought, and with one last “ _thank you_ ” she left the building.

Suddenly all of her dreams had just died right before her eyes and the worst part of all is that she couldn’t do anything to change it.

She felt like her own body was betraying her.

_What am I going to do now that I didn’t apply to college? I refused every single scholarship they offered me, thinking that I was going to join the army, that I was going to do what I always wanted…that I was going to protect…her…Clarke._

_What am I going to say to her? how would she react to all of this? How do I tell her that instead of joining the army I will have to go to a hospital? That I don’t know how bad it is, that I can’t make any promises…_

_I’m the one supposed to protect her not the other way around…_

She kept walking to her car immerse in her thoughts when suddenly she felt the buzzes of her phone inside her back pocket.

Suddenly her heart started to beat faster, her forehead was sweating and her hands were shaking.  

She knew who was calling.  

She took her phone out of her pocket and looked at the screen.

She was right, it was her: **“ _Love” calling_** _._

Lexa sat down on the side of the road looking directly at the device while it kept buzzing.

Now she had 2 options,

If she answered the phone, the blonde would know right away that something was wrong, truth is she could read her like the palm of her hand.

And If she didn’t answer the phone, then, Clarke might freak out because the brunette always answered her phone calls.  

She had no choice but to answer the phone.

If Lexa had to choose one thing that she loved the most about being with Clarke, it would be that she never had to try to be someone else around her, or lie to her, or pretend to be something that she wasn’t, because Clarke accepted her just the way she was, with her rights and wrongs and she was grateful for that. 

Nevertheless, now she needed to act, now she would have to hide this from Clarke, or at least until Anya comes back.

For the first time in her life she would have to make her believe that everything was fine, that everything went smooth sailing.

For the first time, she was being force to lie to the love of her life.

Lexa breathed a sigh and closed her eyes for a brief moment before answering the phone.

\- Hey babe! said Lexa trying to sound as casual as she could. 

\- Hey yourself, answered Clarke with a little smile in her voice, then she added,

“So…how did it go? when do you know if you got accepted?

 _“How bittersweet it’s all this”_ , she thought.

On one hand, she had her girlfriend thinking about if she got accepted or not and on the other it was herself, not giving a shit about if she got in or not, although the answer was clear.

Who could guess that in one morning all her priorities would change, that she would have no idea what to do.

For the first time in her entire life, she feared of the future.

There were two faces of the same story and if she could give Clarke the happy one, then she’ll do it…she’ll do it.

This huge, massive and devastated “thing” as she decided to call it, got in the way of her dreams and Clarke, and took everything away from her.

And it was just starting.

 _"Here I come",_ thought the brunette, before answering,

\- Oh in a few weeks I suppose, so I just have to wait and literally do nothing while I do it. It was half a lie; indeed, she would have to wait for her sister to come home and basically help her figuring out all that mess.

Suddenly, there was a pause on the other end of the line,

\- Hey…is there something wrong? You sound…I don’t know…off? what is it babe, is everything ok?

And there she was, Clarke, her beautiful girlfriend reading her like the palm of her hand.

Of course, she was going to notice that something wasn’t right.

If she wanted to keep this from Clarke, then she would have to try harder than that.

\- No babe! everything’s fine, Lexa said, trying to sound convincing. It’s just that…I miss you already and I’m thinking about all the time that we are going to have to be apart when you move out to college and I leave to god knows where…I’m just missing you already.

That was another half a lie.

Lexa knew that her new discover illness wasn’t going to be easy and although she didn’t know yet in which stage she was, she could sense what was coming, so she meant it when she said that she was missing her already.

Clarke who carefully listened to every word Lexa said, could understand what Lexa meant, a love-distance relationship it was never easy, but she was willing to try, she was going to make it work because her love for the brunette knew no bounds, it was infinite.

\- We still have some time, don’t we love? said Clarke trying to cheer Lexa up.

The “Hmm” Lexa gave her it wasn’t enough, so she paused and continued, but this time deepened her voice,

\- Well… what about if you and me make the most of the time we have left and enjoy ourselves a little bit.

You could start by coming here right this moment so I can take care of you properly…do you like the idea “C _ommander_ ”?

The brunette, at hearing the “ _Commander_ ” word felt a tingle running through her body. Clarke knew what she did to Lexa whenever she called her like that and took advantage of it, let’s say that very often.

In that moment everything could wait, she would put everything on the back of her mind, right now all she needed was Clarke.

\- “I’m on my way babe”

That were her last words before she got into her car and drove as fast as she could to Clarke’s house.

 

***

_At that exact same time, but on the other side of the world, Anya was boarding a plane directly to the US._

_“I thought I would never see that bastard again…but I was wrong… now I’ve got no choice but to see him…just hang on little sis, I’m coming for you…I’m coming for you”_

_With one last look at the desert, she closed her eyes and put her head down._

_And for the first time in years she broke down and cried._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who do you think this guy is?!!! 
> 
> Any ideas, comments...anything...put it in the box below! 
> 
> Thank you again!!


	6. Reunited Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next words almost slipped out of her mouth.
> 
> “If I died tomorrow and I had to choose one last memory to take with me, I’d choose this moment right here, without a doubt”
> 
> Clarke opened her eyes slowly and looked at Lexa with a little smile on her face.
> 
> “What are you talking about, Lex?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! 
> 
> First of all, happy new year to all of you!! 
> 
> I'm so sorry for the delay in posting this chapter, I've been very busy the last couple of months.  
> Hopefully you're still with me on this one! 
> 
> P.S. thank you for your patience!

“You know that I love you, right?”, said Lexa looking at a naked Clarke beside her.

She could never get tired of waking up next to the blonde, now more than ever she knew that nothing was for granted.

“Yeah, babe, I know…”, answered Clarke with her eyes closed.

Lexa watched her in silence, memorizing every little thing, every detail of her body. 

Her eyes…her beautiful blue eyes, the open windows to her soul.

Those blue orbits that could never hide anything from her.

She had that look in her eyes, the one that only show her love and more love every day.

That almost imperceptible little scar she had on her left eyebrow that nobody seemed to notice but her.

Her curves, her amazing curves and how beautiful she looked right at this moment, so relaxed, so free…so her.

The next words almost slipped out of her mouth.

“If I died tomorrow and I had to choose one last memory to take with me, I’d choose this moment right here, without a doubt”

Clarke opened her eyes slowly and looked at Lexa with a little smile on her face.

“What are you talking about, Lex?”, she said smiling while pulling the brunette closer.

Lexa hold her tightly, she wanted to stay like this forever.  

Clarke put her head on the brunette’s shoulder, sensing the fear in Lexa’s touch.

“What is it babe? Is there something bothering you? You know you can tell me anything…I’m with you…I’ll always be with you.

Lexa was not prepared for another lie, at least not today.

She decided to stay quiet.  

Silence was better than lying, so she decided to make her forget her last question and erase that look of concern with one more kiss. 

And just like that Clarke kept quiet, lost in the lips of her lover.

 

 *** 

 **_18 hours and 36 minutes later…_** ****

_“I don’t fucking care about my stuff right now” was her last thought before boarding the plane to the US…_

Her luggage consisted of one handbag and a backpack.

The rest of her stuff would luckily arrive in a month, but like she said to herself, it just did not matter.

 

*** 

Lexa answered her phone on the second ring.

“Lexa! Where are you? I just landed in the US” _._ Said Anya on the other end of the line a little worried.

“Hey sis! I’m right outside the airport, you’ll see me right away” _._ Answered Lexa with a smile on her face, although she knew why Anya was coming home, she was happy to see her after all that time.

 _“_ Ok, I’m almost there…see you in a few minutes sis”.

Once she was outside she saw her right away, Lexa was there leaning against her car with a pair of sunglasses on.

 _“She must be feeling just like me”_ , she thought.

Lexa was biting her lip with insistence and the brunette only did that whenever she was nervous or worried about something.

From afar she saw her sister, her feet took a mind of their own and started running towards her the minute she saw her walking in the middle of the crowd trying to get out of the airport.

When Anya finally saw her, she gave her the biggest smile she ever remembered seeing on her sister’s face, (and that was a lot because Anya did not smile).

Once in Lexa’s arms her backpack fell to the ground.

In that moment, nothing else mattered but that hug.

After a few minutes that felt like seconds, Anya decided to speak,

“How are you feeling kiddo?” said picking her backpack from the ground.

“I feel fine sis, don’t worry about it”

Lexa helped her put her luggage on the trunk before opening the passenger’s door for her.

Anya couldn’t help but laugh.

“What are you doing little sis? Opening the car’s door for me? Did you miss me that much?” she said giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Actually, I did”. Said Lexa giving her a reassurance smile. 

Once they were on their way home Anya suggested they could go somewhere to talk.

Lexa didn’t hesitate, she needed that conversation just as much as her sister needed it.  

She chose to go to their favorite spot as kids.

The trees were greener than they ever remembered, the sound of running water and the scent of damp earth filled the air and all the memories they shared right where they were standing seemed to come alive.

The first one to speak was Anya.

“It’s good to see you again little sis”

“Yeah…” Answered Lexa sitting next to Anya, unsure of what to say or how to start the conversation that the both of them needed to have.

But Anya beat her to it in her own “way”.

“Ok…you know I’m not good at small talking, so let’s cut the crap”, said the older woman with determination.

“You have to know that I love you and that I will be there with you every step of the way, we will find the best doctor on the country or elsewhere if I have to, but you’re going to get better. You have to trust me, and you will have to take care of you. You’re strong and young and I now in my heart that everything will be fine”.

Lexa gave her a weak smile and nodded in silence.

“Thank you for coming sis, and for your words…I will take care of myself, I promise”

She made a paused and continued,

“I found out about it while having the blood test to get in the army”

Her last two words came out almost as a whisper: _“I’m scared”_

Anya immediately looked at her and held her shaking hands trying to make her feel that she wasn’t alone, that she would never be alone.

“I know Lex, but you have me, you have mom, by the way, we will have to find a way to tell her all of this.

You have your friends and you have Clarke...she’s…”

“No…not Clarke”. Said Lexa interrupting her, looking at her sister straight into her eyes.  

It seemed like all her fears had turned into determination. 

“What do you mean with “not Clarke”?” said Anya confused.

“I mean that she will never know about this”

She took a deep breath and continued,

“You have to promise me that you will never tell her that I have leukemia, Anya”

 

Silence.

That’s all that was left for several minutes.

 

After those last words, she simply didn’t know what to say.

She wasn’t expecting this.

How could you hide such a delicate information from the person that you love?

So, she tried to reason with her.

“Lexa, she’s your girlfriend, I…I don’t think that’s a good idea, I really don’t”

The brunette closed her eyes and said, almost as if she knew that the conversation would lead them to that very moment.

“Remember when I told you about the very first time I met her? that she fought with a bunch of kids because they were bullying me and stayed with me from that first day until now?”

Anya nodded.

“She stayed even when all those kids started to bully her because she defended me and decided to be my friend…and I know that it was hard for her. I know her, but she never, not once, left me alone or showed that it was difficult for her to be with me”. Said Lexa remembering her childhood next to Clarke.  

“That’s how big her heart is, Anya, and that’s why she will never know about this” said Lexa brushing away a single tear that started to roll down her cheek.

Anya kept quiet, she knew that Lexa wasn’t finished yet. 

“You know what she would do if she ever finds out about this?

She would give it all up for me, she would give up all her dreams just to take care of me. Said Lexa closing her eyes, trying to erase that image from her mind.

“She’s going to college, Anya, she wants to be a doctor…she’d wanted to be a doctor since she was a little girl and I’m not going to be the one standing in her way, I’m just not”

With that last words, the older woman finally understood all the love that the two of them had, and certainly all the love that Lexa felt for the blonde girl.

And with one last reassurance smile, Anya said the words that Lexa wanted to hear,

“I promise Lex, I promise that she will never know about this”

The hug that followed was one that they would never forget.

 

_If they thought that it was going to be difficult, then they had no idea what was coming._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think about Lexa's decision?  
> Please let me know
> 
> Thank you again guys!
> 
> Until the next time! 
> 
> All the mistakes are mine as usual!


End file.
